Imagine it. You’ve pulled. She’s stunning or it might just be the beer goggles. It doesn’t matter. You’re in. You’re about to score. Get in there my son! Leave the clitoris alone and start with a kiss boy! Have you learned nothing from John Cleese? Hang on a minute. Has she pinged your iConsent? Should you ask her? Will it be a passion killer? Feck it, you’d best mention it. Anything is better than getting accused of rape in the morning right?
The Danes have launched a new sexual consent App. It’s called iConsent. It allows randy rompers to grant permission to their partners, for one sexual encounter, valid for 24 hours. It’s equally hilarious and terrifying. What’s happened to us right? So basically, you’re both getting all hot and horny and knowing that it’s going to go all the way, she (or he) enters into a contract with you via a phone App. Why is this even necessary?
Denmark’s parliament passed a law in December expanding the definition of rape to include any sex without explicit consent. Previously, a prosecutor had to show that the rapist had used violence against someone who couldn’t resist or defend themselves. “Now it will be clear, that if both parties do no consent to sex, then it’s rape”, Denmark’s justice minister Nick Haekkerup said at the time. Big Tech was quick to see the opportunity and the APP store now carries iConsent. Predictive Programming is really real isn’t it? Remember Demolition Man and the not so steamy encounter between Sandra Bullock and Sly Stallone? 
The App’s designers haven’t thought it through though. Couldn’t sexual predators simply force their victims to send the consent before or after an attack? It’s all rather sad. Danish newspaper Berlingske put it best:
“First, we threw out romantic encounters by using the internet where we could hide among the algorithms. Now we’ve also created an app that removes any kind of human warmth from something we still need to be together for: sex.”
While deejaying one time, in the long gone Excalibur nightclub in Waterford, I observed a man kick a woman in the arse as she was passing him near the dancefloor. Outraged, she spun around to confront him. “Do ya wanna dance?” he asked her. God be with the days.
