Etiquette expert William Hanson told BBC Radio 5 Live this morning, that if you do not want to be hugged, now that restrictions on hugging have been removed by the government, you should give an approaching hugger a three metre warning.
If you think that restrictions are being eased too soon, if you’re concerned about the Indian variant, or if you’re worried that someone hasn’t been vaccinated, a hug might be a terrifying experience for you.
“Being clear with your body language as well if you aren’t somebody comfortable with hugging, even though we are now allowed to hug those that we are close with as of today, then walk up to someone and yes, give them the namaste, put your hand on heart, wave at them, give them some sort of signal at sort of three plus metres, that hopefully will mean that they don’t sort of go and pull you in for a hug.”
I’d love to tell you that the above is satire. It isn’t. I was listening to it while running up Langworthy Road in Salford this morning. I drew more than a few quizzical glances I can tell you. As I was wearing headphones, I can only assume I must have been swearing out loud while passing people on the footpath.
On the same radio show, traffic woman Michelle said that she wanted to hug her Mummy, but that Mummy might be reluctant to be hugged by her. Why? Well, even though Mummy has had two AstraZeneca jabs (God help her), Michelle hasn’t had her first one yet. Therefore, it might be prudent not to hug Mummy until she’s had at least one jab.
Am I dreaming this? Are you? Are you in my dream or am I in yours? Who knows?
Where are the comedians? Where are the comediennes? Why am I the only broadcaster in the country satirising this nonsense? Has comedy become so woke, that covid restrictions are off limits? There is Aidan Killian in Ireland. He’s taking it on. Top man Aidan.