Leeds University Professor Cath Noakes, a member of SAGE (Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies), has told the BBC that people should keep their hugs as short as possible and avoid face to face contact at all costs. What a doughnut.
UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson has just granted the nation permission to hug people outside of their own bubbles. Speaking from Downing Street last night, Johnson said that hugs will return next Monday May 17th.
But people are being urged to exercise caution. “Hug, but be careful” is the message. Professor Cath Noakes agrees. “Hug, but hug safely,” she told the beeb. 
Speaking in a personal capacity, she told the broadcaster that it would worry her “if we were advocating we could hug all of our friends every time we meet them again” as it would “perpetuate an awful lot of additional close contact that could spread the virus”.
She went on to say:
“The reality is that when you hug someone you are very close to them and we know the virus is in people’s breath and you are very close to that breath at that moment.”
So we should hold our breath while hugging? Should we carry a balaclava and a pair of rubber gloves with us, just in case an opportunity for a hug presents itself?
I said on last night’s Richie Allen Show that when this is all over, every one of these sell-out professors should be lined up and horsewhipped in public.
But the media is worse. A BBC presstitute sincerely asked Johnson last night, if he felt that we should hold off on hugs for another month. I dream every night of being in the press pack at one of these briefings. Oh the things I’d say to that straw-haired barrel of monkey spunk. I would destroy him.
