London North Eastern Railway issued a grovelling apology on Tuesday to a passenger called Laurence. Laurence was on a train to God only knows where, when he had a fit after the driver addressed the passengers as “ladies and gentlemen and boys and girls.”
Laurence, who thinks he’s non-binary, whatever the hell that is, had a proper hissy fit and took to Twitter.
“Ladies and gentlemen boys and girls” he said. “So as a non binary person this announcement doesn’t actually apply to me so I wont listen @LNER.”
If I had been running the @LNER Twitter account on Tuesday, I’d have replied; “Dear Laurence, get off at the next stop or I’ll beat the fucking Granny out of you, you little weirdo.” 
But London North Eastern Railway was awfully sorry and moved quickly to apologise to the little snowflake. @LNER replied:
“I’m really sorry to see this Laurence. Our train managers should not be using language like this, and I thank you for bringing it to my attention. Please could you let me know which service you are on and I will ensure they remain as inclusive as we strive to be at LNER.”
Laurence was well chuffed.
I’ve emailed London North Eastern Railway, to tell them that as a Lucky Charms eating Leprechaun, I will not stand for being mis-identified or mis-gendered on their trains either.
Ah train journeys of the future eh?
“Good morning Ladies, gentlemen, non-binary’s, agender’s, androgyne’s. cisgender’s, bigender’s, demigender’s, gender non-conforming’s, genderfluid’s, genderqueer’s, queers. butches, bitches, pangender’s, welcome to this short service from Manchester Picadilly to Stockport.”
