99 Year-Old Man Becomes First Person To Die Of Old Age In A Year

The Duke of Edinburgh has died. The Queen’s husband passed away peacefully at Windsor Castle this morning. In doing so, he became the first person in the UK to die of old age in over a year.

UK Chief Medical Examiner Dr. Vinnie Boombatz confirmed that old-age had indeed killed Prince Philip and not Covid-19. Speaking to BBC News 24, Dr. Boombatz said;

“My wife and I always rescue our dogs rather than get them from breeders. Time is the only thing that kills a mongrel. You’re always taking pedigree dogs to the vet. I can confirm that his royal highness died of old age and not coronavirus.”

Dr. Nick Riviera told SKY News that the death of the royal consort may mean that we are at the end of the pandemic. Speaking to Adam Boulton, Dr. Riviera said;

“Hi everybody! Hi Adam! I’m really excited that someone has finally died of something other than covid-19 and this may mean that we are coming to the end of the pandemic.”

In other news, a balding ginger-haired man and a mixed race woman were seen pacing the departure lounge at LAX airport muttering; “well this is fucking awkward!”




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